Letters to Jared

Jared and I tried to talk about the Gospel in 2014.  I really appreciated his attempt.  In debating faith, quickly you reach an impasse.  In the process I wrote these letters to him.

Jared:

OK, here they come.  Four letters.  The first one answers your November email, more or less.

The second one I wrote because I wanted to talk about my growing up Mormon outside of Utah and my faith.  It’s abbreviated.

The third one gives a short view of the pros and cons of growing up Mormon in Utah.  I wonder if my amazing kids realize that, despite the drawbacks, Mormon Church programs helped shape them in good ways.

The last one is about Dad.

ONE

To begin with, I don’t doubt that you’re happy.  I believe you.  As you describe your view of the Mormon mindset, I can see why you would prefer a different approach.  I think it’s unfortunate because I think if Mormonism is practiced correctly, members should be “thinking for themselves” all the time.  As I see it, a lot of what you’ve been fighting off in the Church is more “the traditions of their fathers” than the doctrine itself.

As you point out, our differing views on faith make it tricky for us and our relationship.   I’m told not to take it personally, but really, there’s no other way to take it.   Don’t worry.  It’s not that I feel insulted or my ego is bruised or anything like that. But like most people, I have based my life on my belief system--and my family is my life.  So where do I go from here?

It’s not a matter of your liking different music than I like, or rejecting meat in favor of vegetarianism.  It’s not like we groomed you all your life to take over the family corporate business and now I’m disappointed because you’re choosing to be a rock star.

 

This is about the purpose of life and worlds before and worlds after.  I was WIDE AWAKE when your spirit came to me the night before you were born.  I was relaxed, clear-thinking and alert. It was REAL.  There was nothing pretended or imaginary or false about that experience.  You lived before this life and I am a witness, and you came to this earth with a Spirit of joy and gratitude.   What am I supposed to do with that knowledge? (These are rhetorical questions; no answer expected.)

Despite everything, I’m OK.  I have confidence in my children. I am awed by what amazing people you are.  You have integrity and courage and kind hearts, all of you.  You’re optimistic and funny and fun.  Ultimately you want what is good and right, what is TRUTH.  And that makes me very proud of every one of you.